Tuesday, September 8, 2009
dear mr & mrs bloggie,
I was out with my cousins, Nur, Ctea and Serena the other day to do some catching up at One Fullerton. It didn’t feel complete, of course, for Cuz Kat wasn’t around to tack team with me. My, nevertheless, I was happy to meet the rest, as per always.
Hours later, there sat Cuz Nur and I at Holland Village, two in the friggin morning, yours truly giving an account regarding her latest progress in the L department. I could safely say, recent dating program has showered me with disappointing results. One shall not resume further.
Discussion about the ex (inevitably tempting) became our main topic.
I must say, Juls is well on his way to being happy with someone new and it sucks that I am single still. God bless my wicked thoughts, it sure didn’t help that my “love rival” is pretty, as in very very pretty. Ironically, his sister said she looked like me. I find it hard to believe considering the fact that she's tall, skinny and fair. The self- esteem keeps getting lower boy. -_-
Such luck on my part.
I count my lucky stars his family still loves me though. Phew.
These days, time was spent with an old guy friend of mine. He’s someone I would like to talk about now.
(“,)
Let’s call him ‘the mat’.
The mat just broke up with his girlfriend months back. Like me, he yearns to have someone to belong to. At this point, our courtship escalated a level.
Unfortunately, with hindsight, I realized that it’s hard to go back being serious in a relationship. Despite his efforts, I wasn’t ready to commit myself and it’s disheartening for this was the guy that I had a crush on years back. Yea, albeit loving a lil ego stroke, I didn’t dare bring myself out there, (only to get hurt again).
To kick start the reality check, I told him how I felt. Nice enough, he understood where I was coming from. After all, who could understand better than the guy who sat on the same boat as me, metaphorically speaking that is?
Cool as he was, the mat wasn’t too pleased though over the fact that I kept talking about the ex. Who would, I hear you say. Well, secretly I still harvest the hope that the ex and I could go back to the old ways you see. I wanted to cheat fate, even.
It’s obvious that is sooo not going to happen. Truth be told, I think it was my jealousy than anything else that made me want him back, because silly, I did leave him for reasons be known. Honest to God, I am no better than the pig.
I’m just thankful the mat is patient enough (for now) to wait for this girl to make up her mind. Otherwise, I would have to see the psychiatrist, I am so confused.
As much as the next girl, I want to feel loved again. However, in the interest of not coming across as a complete ho bag, I tried NOT to date around too much. But heck, face it, who was I kidding? I needed attention hey.
I just hope I do have better luck on this one. I still believe in my version of a fairytale. Pray for me that inkling of faith sticks around.
Till the next update on my quest for love.
cinta
fasyalba
Labels: i feel a-ok.
