Monday, November 30, 2009
dear mr & mrs bloggie…
I was initially so pumped up to write an entry regarding my recent trip to New York, I could hardly wait. What I had in mind was to post the simple pictures I took in Central Park and the likes, the zoo even. Nine days away was no joke ladies and gentlemen.
But I couldn’t.
Today, I am truly inspired to pen my next entry because of two special people in my life; I’ll just let God be my witness.
As you all might have figured out by now, (look at the calendar, it is already a month) Wil and I decided to stop our dating process, he more than me this time, if you could believe it. But all’s good now, we’re platonic in all senses. Just like the rest? Parse that to a syllable.
On a side note, I have to somehow get rid of the flavour-of-the-month curse. It is about time I stop dating Mr Right Now(s). Fairy Godmother, where the hell are you?! Please return my heart back, at least.
In all seriousness, it is definitely difficult to sustain a relationship when half of your time is spent in another part of the world. But I chose that path all the same so this I had and have to pay. When I signed my soul to the devil, I didn’t see the tiny words (damn you fonts!) of the last sentence of the contract that stated “A soul mate is as good as nada.”
Not to say I am suffering but well, a girl’s a girl after all hey. I need some lovin’ once in a while if you get my meaning.
To digress, shouldn’t I get back to the reason for this entry? (*__*)
So last night, I did some soul-searching. Rather, two kind souls did that for me. I was loosing my edge. I needed help pronto. A revelation was called upon.
My baby Ina…
Where do I start…..? I have never felt so moved in my life until last night, it was indeed heartfelt. I mean it with every word said here. It was a different you I saw but it was the same you I knew since forever. All these times…. the last minute half-day leave, the two-hour sleep, the being-there-for-me-at-two-in-the-morning routine, the ready-to-hand shoulders, the listening ear with a Sampoerna cigarette already stuck in the mouth, the squeaky cheerleader with an arsenal for pom-poms, all those just to accompany me and make it all alright for me and my tiny world. You are the sweetest thing... and then some.
See, I have always known you to be the biggest bitch to everyone but fate didn’t tell me that I might get a spit out of it. When you addressed to my weakness last night, I knew I had to do something about myself. I needed to get that confidence back. It was as if a supernova finally made its appearance. And I must say, after all these years, I finally got a taste of your ferocity and I pity those who received your venom thus far. I never knew you could be that fierce, or is that simply hitherto a hidden feeling you wished to keep from me? For what it was worth, I needed the reality check. And I am grateful that YOU were my messenger. Awak, I promise you, my drinking won’t be a problem any longer. I love you so! But you know that already therefore we’ll end this bit here hey. Kiter sayang awak hokay… Hasn’t this always been our litany? *Giggles giggles*
And then, there’s Mr Nice Guy.
You chose to drive than ride that favorite bike of yours just so you could send my baby Ina and me home. You could’ve continued sleeping at that ungodly hour but you came to the rescue instead. Problem for you was, you had to bare witness all those nights as I was seen wallowing in self-pity. Your straightforward answers never fail to pinch but it hits the spot all the time. You have always been a great friend to my baby and I (to boot, your never ending bickering with Ina amuse me unceasingly) and I have never seen a guy made such an effort without expecting anything in return. If kindness has a name, it has yours written all over. If superhero is real, I believe you are just that guy. And for that, I am truly thankful for your existence, and to allow me to discover the true meaning of friendship.
It’s a shame you don’t read this but the world needs to know, nice guys do exist. One comes in the form of YOU. Much love.
You know the weird part mrs bloggie. I forgot that a total hard-ass bitch lies in me. Maybe a 2006 farah fasyalba would not be impressed seeing me now. I do not know how to say NO and I please people too much. I keep lowering myself because I don’t wanna be seen as cocky. I got confused between humility and low self-esteem. A Buddha on a mountain would shake his head I could just imagine. I felt ashamed for thinking I was worthy of everything that spells the best. Truly, to sum it up, I was not me.
But you know what… this has got to change. From now on, I shall strive to gain that confidence back. Faint heart never won fair lady.
So listen to all here and near. Yes, I am high-maintenance. Yes, I only want nothing but first-class. Yes, I am smart, (sometimes for all the wrong reasons.)Yes, I refuse to settle for second best. Yes, I am the hottest living creature to walk on the face of this planet.
And no, you are not. But honey, live with it.
Coz I am. .
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Fuck, who was I kidding? (-____-)
cinta
fasyalba
p/s: I love you awak.
Labels: i feel grateful.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
dear future sons & daughters of mine….
Once again, you caught me in action as I was seen partying away with Auntie Ina, Uncle Wan and Uncle Wil at O bar.
Cousins don’t roam far I daresay as I met your Uncle Carl there too. The two most drunkards were him and I for sure. But like I told you umpth times, do not follow my footsteps because I work really hard to put food in your mouth.
Mommy loves you children. Make me proud.
Ya, Mommy met Auntie Anna and Auntie Emylia there as well.
Labels: i feel content.
dear mr & mrs bloggie…
It has been sometime since I cried before a flight. This heart so heavy, body so unwilling seemed unfit to bring itself to work, what to leave home once again, only to be spent in another man’s land.
You could say I was lucky to be given long flights one after another… because needless to say, it definitely means more income. But at this rate, money without a doubt failed to bestow me much happiness as I lay on my hotel bed lonely each night hoping to talk to loved ones.
Mother, seeing me so sad, shed tears as she helped me pull my bags to be loaded into Wil’s car. She gave me a tight hug and that was what it took for me to cry once again. I was that reluctant mrs bloggie; Firstly, to say goodbye to Mother at home, then to say goodbye to Wil at the airport. It was hard.
This time, my destination was Istanbul via Dubai. Seven days away proved quite a challenge, but of course. I just thank the above for giving me great colleagues to work with on this trip.
Istanbul was more magnificent than I could ever imagine. As I walked down the streets, I could do no more than to gawk at its beauty. So much so, I failed to capture them in my camera, so busy was I, in awe so to speak.
Shame on me for not knowing much about Istanbul but I shall share with you what little insights I could grasp on. Yea, after all I didn’t quite ace geography back in school. Ehem.
See, Istanbul (from what I was told) is the only city that belongs to two continents, that belonging to Europe and Asia. Raise your hand should you already know this. Kudos. One mark goes to you.
I, on the other hand, had not an inkling. So picture my surprise when I was told I was crossing the bridge and heading towards the European side of Istanbul. Well, in my terms, it means, heck of a world, I just walked from Asia to Europe. Dude, I just rocked my own boat!
Right. Proceeding on…
The two kind souls who actually entertained my request to bring me around were my two big bros, Azam and Azam. (Yup, the irony)
Being a first hand tourist, I was glad they answered my questions, (rhetorical or not was beside the point of course) and taught me quite a lot. It was exactly what a field trip should be. I was but a cute student. Ok not funny. Next.
We walked for quite a bit, an hour or so amidst the blistering cold and they showed me no mercy as I whined annoyingly to show my fatigue for really, a girl was by no means fitter than two men, ME at that. Bluergh. No chance of eliciting a respond from them. Hence, we kept walking, I kept cursing to the devil.
We finally reached the one place that I have wanted to visit: The Blue Mosque. Hoorah!
And that is that. I can’t describe much, ladies and gentlemen, because it was already dark when we reached the place and we had to wait for Isyak to end before going in and the rain, damn you, started to show its presence. And I, I was already too tired and cold to do anything at that point. Sooo.... we left soon after. Erm... meaning to say, I didn't take shots inside the mosque. Shame. On. Me.
But! Allow me to show you the pictures that I got. Since description of Istanbul would be better justified through photos, here I present you thee.
**Azam was kind enough to be a photographer for the day and shoot pictures of me ol me. 
Above: The bridge to cross from the Asian side to the European side.
Azam and Azam
My willing photographer.
So there you have it. Pictures of myself in Istanbul. I apologize for not taking as many snaps of this beautiful city because wretchedly, it was quite dark. Next time ok?
cintafasyalba
Labels: i feel blessed.
dear future sons & daughters of mine….
cinta
